There comes a time in everyone’s life when they need to have the “dating (courting) talk” as they start taking interest in the opposite gender, and consider future marriage partners. Below you will find a collection of dating (courting) guidelines, as well as qualities to have/seek for the boy, or girl who is interested in dating (courting).
1. Be at least 18 years old for girls, and 20 years old for boys to date (preferably with no more than 5 years age difference). Guys & girls should preferably marry between 20-25 years of age.
2. Court someone you like, and likes you back.
3. Court someone who is serious about the relationship, with the intent that you both would potentially consider marrying each other. Otherwise, do not awaken love ahead of time.
4. If possible, date at least 1 year (seeing each other at least 2x/month) before making a decision to marry.
5. Don’t falsely lead someone on, if you are not serious with the relationship.
6. After 2 years of dating, if you are ready to marry and there is no commitment, then highly consider whether you need to move on and not waste your time with the relationship.
7. Court someone who has good qualities (i.e. loyal, patient, honest, kind-hearted, punctual, hard-working, encouraging, humble, selfless, merciful, well-mannered, respectful etc.)
8. Stay away from individuals who get angry fast/violent, or do not possess good qualities.
9. Go slowly with the relationship, resist the urge to talk, or see each other at every opportunity.
10. Talk about your hopes and dreams for the future (family goals, marital roles, financial views/habits, interests, spiritual views, etc.)
11. Court someone who has similar values, morals, and faith as you.
12. Avoid being alone together. Go out in groups, have a 3rdindividual present, or meet in open public places (ie. Park, coffee shop, local festival/events etc.).
13. Never assume you, or they know what the other is thinking. Always ask, and communicate.
14. Do not hold hands/hug/kiss, or touch intimate parts (breasts/butt/thigh or other body parts). Stay at least 3-6ft apart.
15. Establish boundaries early on in the relationship (i.e. commitment to sexual purity etc.), and court someone who is able to respect those boundaries.
16. Save yourself for your future husband/wife.
17. Know that everything you do in the relationship has consequences. Act in such a way so as if you separate, you will leave with no regrets.
18. Puts more emphasis on the inner self, rather than outward appearance.
19. Dresses classy and clean, not trashy or dirty. Makeup is more natural.
20. Is kind when talking to your or their parents/siblings. Takes regard for other people.
20. Is kind when talking to your or their parents/siblings. Takes regard for other people.
21. Not greedy/stingy with money, and able to share with others who are less fortunate.
22. No drugs, drinking, smoking/vaping, or watching/listening to inappropriate content. (i.e. porn, profane music etc.)
23. Court someone who allows you to be yourself, is not hypocritical, or fake.
24. Someone who has a job and/or goals in their life (ie. Going to school, has a career, business etc.)
25. Someone who hangs out with friends that have good qualities.
26. Someone who hangs out, or goes to events that attract individuals of good quality. (ie church, choir etc)
27. They know your worth, and thus respect, appreciate and value you making you feel more than enough, rather less than enough.
28. A honorable gentleman/lady who is fair, considerate, and empathetic
29. Able to apologize, demonstrate understanding and compromise.
30. Someone who promotes good deeds, and habits.
31. Someone who is attentive to your needs, and seeks to help.
32. Able to problem solve/fix/make stuff.
33. Don’t expect perfection, yet there should be more positive qualities, than negative. Listen to your instinct, if something feels wrong, then end the relationship before getting even more attached. It is ok to court and find out the relationship might not work out as originally thought.
34. Be home no later than 9-10pm
35. Think long and hard before you say, “I love you,” or “I do.” Don’t give your word of marital commitment to anyone unless you are absolutely positively sure.
36. Pray and seek guidance/counsel from respectable elders as you go through one of the most exciting, and undoubtedly most important times of your life both discovering yourself as a person, and finding a partner to share the rest of your life together.
What other advice do you find helpful to share?
Photo source: boundless.org
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